Time passes, things change

Ive hit that time in my life when I think I am ready to settle down in the area. As in, its house hunting time. I guess I felt like now is as good of a time as any... I have held the same job for a few years, my lease for my apartment comes up at the end of October, and I am sick of throwing money away on renting something. While I have some sort of wanderlust, I also have a silly sense of obligation and the need to stay somewhat in the area / be stable with money.

Of course looking for a house adds a new level of stress. Money constraints, wishes for nicer places, monthly payments, etc etc etc. And there are so many additional costs that you have to remind yourself of: heating, homeowners insurance, random things breaking, closing costs, property taxes. Honestly its a nightmare and I will be happy when this process is over. Even moreso because I will have some of the things I have wanted for so long - a room to be able to do my artwork / writing / shirt making, more storage for things I have, someplace to brew my own wine, etc. There are lots of little processes I would love to take part in... but I cant with my current living constraints.

Aside from that its always really interesting to me to look at the many things that people do in their lives in order to change. For me... well change is coming rather fast. A coworker of mine passed away a few weeks ago from a massive heart attack, and then my stepfather was in the hospital for chest pain the following week. On some level I think that really played on my own psyche since I have changed my eating habits completely. Thats right, Ive balanced my diet, and I consume less and less now. Why? Well again, part of it had to do with fear, but part also had to do with comfort. What people miss is the feelings inside I have had. For example - most people wouldnt be able to pinpoint that I was having some major stomach issues that I was dealing with, but I was having some real troubles. So after changing my intake, I realized how much better I feel. heh.

I got rid of cable too. And now I see just how much time I wasted in front of the tv. In the past few months I have read through a few books Ive been meaning to get to, finished off some magazines, cleaned things out, etc etc etc. Aka all things I have been meaning to do but just never did. Now - I have more than enough time.

next book im reading - http://www.amazon.com/Monster-Autobiography-L-Member/dp/0802141447

and now im off. back to work. then tonight, a few drinks and roaming around looking at houses. heres to hoping i find one.

cheers.

Notes from Underground

I just completed Dostoevsky's Notes from Underground and I have to say, I'm impressed on multiple levels.

The book really pushes the antihero to the maximum limits. Actually I haven't seen such a great antihero character since reading Warren Ellis' character Spider Jerusalem in Transmetropolitan. He is edgy, impulsive, and yet passionate and brutal. It seems that he is very self loathing, and yet in the same he has such high expectations. It almost makes you feel like you are hearing this sad and lonely character who has this underlying sea of intelligence and life beneath him, but he cant seem to push it all forth. instead he relishes in the pain.

the man is so tormented that its almost surreal, but it is written in such a manner that you cant help but empathize with him. And at the moment you do, he laughs at you, telling you that he was just joking about that all along. So throughout you find yourself questioning the exact things he does, sometimes actually questioning if he himself believes what he is writing. that is until you hit the second part of the book where it ties all of his ideals together into a tight little package...

well played mr dostoevsky.

Back from Vacation

The nice thing about taking vacation is not having to worry about work or any stresses that are associated with it. I, of course, checked work email a couple of times in hopes of relieving any stress I would have coming to me when I came back to the office. Overall, I am really glad I did, as unfortunately there was a lot of crap I had to cover when I returned. I guess such is the reality of working for a corporation eh?

In other news I read much less than I anticipated while on the trip, but managed to finish The House of Thunder by Dean Koontz. not a bad book. More a psychological thriller than anything with some horror aspects to it. the concept was pretty interesting, although I don't want to give much away if anyone decides to read it in the future. I was extremely disappointed in the ending through. Honestly it was very anticlimactic (aka you read 330+ pages and then all of a sudden its summed up in 15 pages). Further, he ends with some trite cliche load of bullshit that really just pissed me off. Had he left the last paragraph out of it, I might not have called him a douchenugget.

On to another book - Notes From The Underground by Fyodor Dostoevsky. Its one I have been really excited to read for quite sometime. I've read through the introduction a bit, and honestly... its some twit who is trying to sound monumentally intelligent by breaking down the work. Honestly the intro is really misplaced as it talks about things that happen in the book in detail at a few points, thus partially ruining some of the reading (or at least decreasing my drive for the book). They should have thought that out a bit better... you leave general explanations there and put an afterword if you really feel the need to go in depth with your analysis.

People are generally stupid. I'm coming to believe that more and more, and I mean that in the nicest way possible.

The Face of Fear - complete

Another book spilled out into the brainpan, as I finished reading The Face of Fear by Dean Koontz. Another pretty solid book, although I havent utterly disliked anything I have read of his. Actually I would recommend From the Corner of His Eye if I had to choose one. He always tends to write about some sort of supernateral abilities (golem creation, the ability to use quantum mechanics for travel, time-stopping / slowing, etc, psychic abilities).

This one was set in NY, as my last post indicated, about a hiker who ended up with special clairvoyant powers after taking a nasty fall on Mount Everest. Its not at all out of the question either, because people have reported that after they hit their head somewhere, they could do thins like never before (art, math, etc). It makes you wonder if we will ever unravel the many complexities that the human brain has to offer. It also gives me pause to think about the person that discovers how the brain will enhance things. Take a person who can now paint with amazing artistic ability... what would someone pay to have the kind of talent? How would the economy work after that point? Would we simply program people how we want them? Hmm. This smells like a possible novel / short story.

But I digress, the story, with this clairvoyant mountain climber who is now deathly afraid of mountain climbing and left with a limp, is set in New York. And I figured the backstory of the mountain climber was set to lay out the story. Boy was I wrong. It intertwines with the overall solutions of the book, but when you are nearing that point its pretty hard to miss whats coming. There are some surprises throughout, but in the same its predictable at some points. There is just enough action and dialogue to keep the pages turning quickly, and this book feels very much unburdened by extensive language.

The most interesting points in the book center around the killer(s) wanting to prove themselves as "superbeings" that Nietzsche and William Blake both illuded to in their writings. I have read a small bit about thsoe items, but it makes me want to further research the thought process. Can we evolve into something that is beyond our current selves? So many thoughts....

Now I have to hit the bookshelf and see whats next...

Andromeda Strain - done.

Alright, I'm impressed. The book was a quick read (even though it was 300 pages) and really kept me interested. Even some of the more monotonous sections were seemingly intriguing, as the intertwined storyline was solid.

The storytelling element was the most striking to me though, as you are reading things as if they are happening from one second to the next. And yet, the narration takes over at a couple of points and it pretty much states that the characters are making some sort of mistake and are going down the wrong path. It then even suggests what they could have done to right their course. It seemed to add a different dynamic to the story, since it kept you trying to unravel what was occurring.

Honestly, this book is a two thumbs up read.

Now on to The Face of Fear by Dean Koontz. I had never heard of it before, but heres the little blurb on it: "Graham Harris was once one of the world's foremost mountain climbers, until a fall five years earlier left him with a lame leg, a fear of heights...and a frightening psychic ability in which he can see murders as they are happening. Harris lives in New York City, where a murderous madman known as the Butcher has been mutilating young women. While he is giving an interview on live television one night, Graham senses the Butcher claiming another victim. When the madman realizes that [Graham] poses a threat to him he formulates a plan to kill the clairvoyant. While working late one night in his office building, Graham senses that the Butcher is coming to his floor aboard an elevator. With his girlfriend Connie at his side, Graham begins a long night of playing hide and seek to try and avoid the psychopath's grip."

Hopefully its equally interesting.

Now Reading...

The Andromeda Strain. Its an interesting book thus far, as it intertwines alien life in the form of bacteria coming to earth via a satellite that crashed down. Just something random I picked up in an effort to pound through some of the books I have had on my list for a while. The interesting thing is that I somehow acquired a copy of the book in its 1972 form. Aka the cover price is $1.25, and it has an ad in the back selling copies of the book Deliverance, soon to be a movie! Its one of those artifacts of time that people tend to overlook. With the digital age being so relevant, I wonder how books will fare in the future... I mean in my life I have already seen the Kindle and things like that which will push books into a digital medium...

Will all books become a thing of the past when it comes to their paper form?

Did I mention I love books and reading? Because I do...

I'm also reading a book on quantum theory, as well as Murder in the Cathedral by T.S. Elliot. Both are good reads in their own right.

I also just finished reading a "Teach yourself psychology" book, as well as the most recent book of the Drizzt series (Forgotten Realms... yeah I'm a nerd). The psychology book was a lot of what I knew already, just presented in a nicer format than my ever chaotic mess of a brain. Drizzt... well, lets say I was disappointed. Its the second book of a trilogy called "Transitions" and it doesn't follow the same type of mold as the first book, which really left me missing that time travelish storytelling element. Perhaps I am too picky.

Bah, I should be working on my own novel anyhow.